Made For This
by Rachel500
Summary: Bruce and the Hulk have a lot to work out


Disclaimer: The Avengers is owned by Marvel Entertainment and I am just borrowing the characters.

**Author's Note:**

**Spoilers for Avengers Endgame. Don't read if you wish to remain unspoiled.**

Pairings: Bruce/Betty. Mentions of Tony/Pepper, Clint/Laura, Natasha/Bruce.

Content warning for character death, mentions of suicide, and grief.

Companion story to Think About You, Hope, Not For A Second, One Last Time and A Good Man. All stories can be read as a stand alone or as part of a series.

Cross-posted to AO3.

**Made For This**

Bruce isn't terribly surprised when the mission to retrieve the stones goes horribly wrong.

Thanos destroyed them.

Of course he did.

And then Thor cut off the Titan's head.

Bruce feels for Thor.

He thinks back to the battle in Wakanda, the way the axe had hurtled through the air to hit Thanos squarely in the chest. If it had been a head shot…if Thor had gone for the head then…the Snap wouldn't have happened.

Bruce sighs in the thick silence of the Compound.

He, Rhodes and Carol are the only ones to return. Rocket has radioed to say they're on the way back into space to search for the Asgardians and they've dropped Natasha and Steve at a farm. Bruce thinks it's probably Clint's farm.

God.

Clint has lost his entire family.

Bruce's heart aches for the guy.

He wanders past the medical room where Tony is but stops and retreats when he sees Rhodes talking with Tony.

No matter how much he wants to talk to Tony himself, Bruce knows it isn't the right time.

He wanders into the main living lab and stops at the sight of Carol sitting in an armchair and drinking a beer.

"You want one?" asks Carol.

"No," Bruce shakes his head, "it's not a good idea." He pauses to consider it though because the Hulk hasn't made an appearance for days. He'd stopped keeping count of days without incident a while back. He sighs and sits down opposite her.

"Your armour is impressive," Carol comments.

"_Tony's_ armour is impressive," Bruce counters, "I don't know how he does it. It weighs a tonne."

"So you don't usually fight in the armour?" questions Carol, sipping her beer.

"No, normally I've turned into a big green rage monster called the Hulk," Bruce explains, "he's the fighter not me."

"You fought today," Carol points out.

"The Hulk is…he's having some kind of crisis," Bruce sighs and rubs his brow. God knows what is going on with the Hulk.

Carol regards him with deep considered gaze. He gets the feeling that not much gets past her. "You talk about him like he's a separate person."

"He is," Bruce says. He gestures at her. "What about you? What happened to you?"

"I absorbed a large amount of Tesseract energy," Carol states.

"That amount of gamma radiation…" Bruce frowns. "It should have killed you."

"It probably would have done but I got kidnapped by aliens," Carol says dryly. "They wanted to use me to win their war."

"Sounds awful," Bruce sympathises.

Carol shrugs. "It is what it is. I've got these powers and so I use them to help people because I have to believe that's the reason why I'm like this." She takes a gulp of her beer. "I still don't have all my memories of who I was before, and I've spent more time in space than on Earth now."

"I was in space," Bruce murmurs, "Asgard and some other planet. Wasn't a fan."

"There are a lot of worlds out there," Carol says. "Some more wondrous than others." She glances over Bruce's shoulder and nods. "Rhodes."

"Call me Jim," Rhodes says and sits down tiredly. He looks exhausted.

"Beer?" Carol offers.

Rhodes accepts the bottle.

He looks over at Bruce. "You speak to Natasha?"

Bruce shakes his head. He should probably speak to Natasha.

"Rogers called," Carol informs them, "he says they'll be staying to help their friend for a while."

"We've been asked to maintain a presence here, help out with the rebuilding," Rhodes sighs. "Talk about being short-handed. The world is a mess, my best friend is a mess. This is just…"

"A mess?" suggests Carol in another dry quip. She meets Rhodes' glare head on. "I'll stick around for a while."

Rhodes nods. "Thanks." He points at Bruce. "You in?"

Bruce is conflicted. He's always conflicted. The urge to run is there but he has things to work out with the Hulk and he needs stability for that. He sighs deeply. "I'm not sure how much use I'll be but I'll stay."

It feels like more like a lie than a promise.

o-O-o

Bruce takes over headquarters.

Jim and Carol have fallen into a good working partnership outside the walls of the Avengers. They have a similar shorthand and Bruce isn't surprised to find out Carol was Air Force once upon a time.

They can't be everywhere and there just aren't enough Avengers to fill the gap.

Tony's recovering in his private quarters on the Compound. He's in no fit state to go out as Iron Man. Pepper lets Bruce appropriate the nano-technology and go out a couple of times, but he doesn't have Tony's skill with the armour. He's best suited to coordinating things back at the Compound.

Almost two months after the Snap, the government has just about stabilised. The military is functioning; first responders and hospitals are back in business.

Clean-up remains a bitch.

Crime is on the rise.

There's a devastating amount of grief and loss. Depression and suicide rates go through the roof.

Bruce or Jim talk every day to Steve. Bruce rarely talks to Natasha; they definitely don't talk about _them_ or the possibility of them and he spends most of his time listening to her worries about Clint. He wonders whether he should suggest they put Clint on a suicide watch only to realise Natasha has him on one already.

Bruce turns his attention back to where his attention has always been since the day of his radiation accident; with the Hulk.

He hasn't seen Tony since he moved to his quarters so he's a little startled when the man just drops into the chair beside him in the lab Bruce has appropriated.

"Hey," Bruce says a little nervously. His eyes are already scanning over his friend to check he's OK. Tony's gaunt; the t-shirt and jeans he wears are too loose on his frame, but he's not as emaciated as he had been walking off the space ship. He's tired and looks heart-worn, but he's recovering.

"Hey," Tony replies. He reaches out and taps the hologram where Bruce is reading a research paper. "Dissociative identity disorder?"

"Yeah, I'm trying to work out what happened," Bruce says, removing his glasses.

Tony cocks his head to the side. "You mean with the Big Guy not wanting to fight?"

"He refused to come out against Thanos," Bruce shakes his head, "like _at all_, Tony." He sat back and fidgeted with his glasses.

"Any idea why?" asks Tony, getting straight to the point.

"Thanos beat him," Bruce says, "I think he was scared."

Tony hums. "Heard you rocked the Hulkbuster armour."

"You have nothing to worry about, Tony," Bruce laughs, "I barely got it to work and operating it? I don't know how you do it, but I wasn't…I'm not Iron Man."

Tony's eyes are intent on his. "Thanos…the Snap…it's not your fault, you know that, right?"

"Isn't it?" Bruce grimaces. "Hulk couldn't stop Thanos as the Hulk; I couldn't stop Thanos. We both got beat, Tony."

"We all got beat," Tony retorts. He looks away, his expression grim and bleak.

"It wasn't your fault either, Tony," Bruce says gently.

Tony shakes his head. "I saw this coming, Bruce, and I couldn't stop it."

Bruce thinks back to the events just before he'd left Earth and grimaces. "What happened with you and Steve? I mean, I thought things were OK when we went to Sokovia, but you said there was a break-up, and what you said to him…" he gestures back towards where they'd been when Tony had yelled at Steve, "you were so angry, Tony."

"Lots of things happened," Tony says dismissively before he stops and sighs heavily. "It's all a bit of a snooze-fest."

Bruce thinks guiltily back to when he'd fallen asleep when Tony had tried to talk with him. "I'd like to know," he says gently, "if you can tell me."

Tony turns to look fully at Bruce. "Like I said, lots of things happened but the main thing? Turns out when they took down SHIELD, Steve learned the Winter Soldier, his buddy Barnes, killed my parents. Didn't tell me obviously. Didn't trust me, I guess."

Bruce listens to the rest of it transfixed as Tony fills him in on the team after Sokovia, the Accords, the fight at Leipzig, the Raft and Siberia. Tony tells Bruce about Steve's apology letter and the phone. Finally, his friend falls silent.

"Well," Bruce says, clearing his throat, "I can see why you said you fell out hard."

Tony manages a small hurt smile. "Don't even pretend you would have signed the Accords."

"I wouldn't," Bruce agrees. He wouldn't have given the General that kind of power over the Hulk. He rubs his hand through his hair uncaring of the mess left behind. "But I can see the value in accountability." He motions with his glasses. "Are you going to be able to work with Steve when he comes back?"

Tony sighs. "I don't know," he admits.

"It's not his fault either, Tony," Bruce says.

Tony taps the centre of his chest where there is an absence of an Iron Man reactor and nanobot unit. "Question may be moot; I'm thinking of retiring." He points at Bruce. "What about you?"

Bruce points to where the hologram still floats. "I need to work this out with Hulk."

Tony gets up. "If you need anything, buddy, just let me know." He pats Bruce's shoulder as he walks away.

Bruce wonders if they're all wracked by the guilt of not winning against Thanos. Probably. He can't do anything about anyone else's guilt, but he can do something about his own. He turns back to the article and starts reading again.

o-O-o

Bruce takes a deep breath. He looks down the street and grimaces. There's an eerie silence. The road is empty and there is no sign of life from any of the other houses. Nobody mows their lawn; no kids are playing.

It's been almost a year but the world still feels post-apocalyptic.

Bruce shivers. He turns back to the door and fidgets. It's been almost eleven years since he'd last been in this house, on this street. He can't believe he's back. He takes hold of his courage and knocks.

The door opens.

Doctor Elizabeth Ross stares at him. "Bruce?"

"Hi, Betty," Bruce replies softly.

There's a heartbeat, a breath…

Betty throws herself at him and Bruce catches her. She hugs him so tightly he thinks he'll have bruises the next day.

Betty eventually leads him inside. They sit in her den, curled up on the sofa with mugs of tea. They've retreated into small talk; sympathetic noises about the world after the Snap, how Betty is coping, the news that the government is planning to hold the next election on schedule.

"You look good, Bruce," Betty says, fingering the necklace she wears, the one he'd made sure to return to her as soon as he'd had the money.

Bruce nods. "So do you."

Betty smiles tremulously. "Why are you here, Bruce?" she hurries to gesture at him, "I'm not upset or…it's not that I don't want you here, it's just…" she sighs heavily, "you've never come back before."

Bruce winces and looks down. He knows he owes her an explanation. He raises his eyes and bravely meets her gaze. "I love you, Betty," he says simply. "It was…you deserved more."

Betty's face crumples for a second. "Shouldn't that have been my choice?"

Bruce smiles sadly. "You would never have left me."

Betty blinks back her tears. "I'm glad you realise that."

He shifts and gently reaches out a hand to her. She immediately grasps it. They hold on to each other for a long moment.

"After New York, I looked you up," Bruce admits, "I thought…" he strokes a thumb over her knuckles. "You were back with Samson and I didn't…I didn't want to intrude on your life again. Not when…not when I still hadn't figured out the Hulk."

"I haven't been with Leonard for years," Betty says, "even before he Vanished, we were back to just being friends."

"Your Dad also has this place staked out," Bruce says. "Had." Ross was also one of the Vanished and Bruce couldn't deny he was relieved not to have to deal with him.

There is a moment of awkward silence.

"You never did answer my question," Betty says softly.

Bruce tells her about Sakaar; about staying as the Hulk for so long; about Thanos and the Hulk's refusal to emerge since. "Tony set me up in a place in the mountains so I could meditate, try to work things out. I've been there for months and…I need your help."

Betty sets her empty mug down and regards him with a sombre look. "You need my help." Her lips twist as she settles back with her arms crossed. "Why?"

"When we…when we were on the run together you said you thought the Hulk was me," Bruce says.

Betty nods. "You said you had flashes of what happens when Hulk emerges."

"Right," Bruce says, "at least I did. When I fought the Abomination to save you? I remembered a lot of that; I can remember _thinking_ during that fight and influencing what I did." He sighs. "I think my way of dealing with the accident, with what happened to me, trying to deny he was a part of me…I think after Ultron, when I ended up in space, my mind eventually completed that thought process and created a separate personality to deal with everything."

Betty stares at him for a beat. "You know who you really need is Leonard."

"I've consulted a few psychologists already," Bruce admits. "They agree with me." The diagnosis felt right to Bruce.

"I'm confused," Betty says, "why do you need me if you've worked this out?"

"There's a therapy called reintegration," Bruce says. "I've been working on it, but I'm…I'm stuck." He sighs. "The mental therapy is…difficult given the distinctiveness of the personalities we've become, but that's…I think we'd get there in time."

"But your split isn't just mental," Betty states, "it's physical. Hulk manifests physically as well as mentally and emotionally."

"Exactly," Bruce says. "I need a way to merge all parts of me." He looks at her beseechingly. "You're the only other person who knows as much as I do about gamma radiation."

Betty frowns. "This reintegration…" she rubs her upper arms as though she's cold, "will it…will it change who you are now?"

Bruce bites his lip. "Maybe…I'd integrate some of Hulk's personality traits and I'm not sure if I can merge physically with him without being…" he gestures to indicate Hulk's size. "I've accepted that."

Betty looks uncertain.

Bruce reaches out for her hand again and is happy when she grasps his without hesitating. "Please, Betty."

Betty looks at him for a long moment and nods. "OK," she says, "I'll help you."

And Bruce smiles back at her, relief coursing through him. Hulk grumbles in the back of his mind, but there's happiness there too at seeing Betty.

It's foolish of him to wonder if there's a future for them, Bruce tells himself strictly. He needs to see if they can work out a way to help him. Once they've done that…maybe, maybe…

o-O-o

Some days go better than others in the lab.

There are days when nothing works.

There are days when he's Hulk.

There are days when he's Bruce.

There are days when he's both.

There comes the day when he's one person.

The physical merger is painful. Bruce feels every part of his body as bones and muscles distort and reform.

The mental merger which follows is like letting go of a kite and watching it fly away; it's easy but there's sadness as the last sense of Hulk fades, as the last sense of who he is without Hulk fades.

He opens his eyes.

It worked.

Betty smiles at him, tears sliding down her cheek.

Bruce wipes them gently away with a big green finger.

o-O-o

"Wow," Natasha says as she slides into the booth beside him and stares.

Bruce grins at her, his wide mouth stretching his green face. "Hey, Nat."

She looks good. She's dressed simply; black jeans, green long-sleeved t-shirt and a leather blazer. Her hair is a mix of red and blonde, tidied away into a single braid.

"You did it," Natasha says.

The waitress interrupts them. Natasha orders a black coffee and Bruce orders the same but with a whole pie; apple. He has a craving for something sweet.

"So, how have you been?" asks Bruce warmly. He really is pleased to see her.

"Busy," Natasha pauses for the waitress to serve them and sighs when they're alone again. "Steve's been part time for a while doing his counselling thing so I've taken over leading the Avengers."

"Good for you," Bruce says, "you deserve it."

"You mean the headaches, exhaustion and constant paperwork?" Natasha smiles as though she's joking but Bruce can see she's not.

"I mean the credit. You always were the one keeping us focused," Bruce says firmly and waits until she acknowledges the compliment with a nod. "It sounds a lot."

"It is a lot," Natasha says, "but we're getting there. We've got some good people." Her fingers play with her mug.

"Any news on Clint?" Bruce asks.

She shakes her head. "Listen, the reason why I called you…" she sighs, "Steve's going to leave the team."

Bruce's eyebrows shoot up. It sounds nonsensical; Captain America standing down. He frowns. He hasn't spoken himself to Steve since he'd gone into the gamma lab. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," Natasha says. "I mean, he's not admitting that he wants to leave right now, but he does. He's doing his Steve thing, dancing around it, avoiding talking about it." She smiles at him bravely. "I'm expecting him to man up in the next couple of days and tell me."

"No more Captain America," Bruce swallows down the spoonful of apple pie he was in the middle of eating. "That's a bummer."

Natasha blinks at him.

"Uh, I'm a little more…" he gestures with his large hand.

"Uninhibited? Relaxed? Honest?" suggests Natasha in a wry teasing tone.

"All of the above," Bruce admits. "at least Betty says so." He feels his cheeks flush and he's glad the green probably covers how red he would be otherwise.

"Betty," Natasha's lips twist for a moment.

Bruce's mind catches up with the notion that maybe talking about the woman he loves with Natasha when they'd come so close themselves to being together isn't the done thing. "Sorry."

"No, don't be," Natasha shakes her head, "we missed our window and…I'm happy for you, Bruce."

"It's not…we're not…" Bruce stumbles over his words. "Betty and I…we're just friends."

He can't deny though that he wants more with Betty even if it's an impossibility with him being green. And big. Green and big. She'd argued about his decision, argued she should get to make her own choice.

Bruce can't do that to her. He's always loved her; will always love her. She deserves better.

He gestures at Natasha. "What about you? Are you seeing someone or…"

He'll always have a soft spot for Natasha. She's a strong vibrant woman who's overcome a lot in her life. Just like Betty, she deserves someone who'll love her.

Natasha's smile doesn't quite make her eyes. "I'm too busy right now to think about a relationship."

Bruce thinks it's probably a good moment to change the subject. "So, Steve's leaving _and_…" he motions for her to finish the sentence.

Natasha picks up her coffee. "And I want you to come back."

Bruce almost chokes on his dessert. "Uh, Nat…"

"You're clearly under control," Natasha says. "You're even wearing clothes these days." She smirks. "I like the rumpled casual look; it suits you."

Bruce rolls his eyes. "I can't come back."

"Can't or won't?" presses Natasha. "You have to know how much good you could do working with us and…" she stumbles to a halt as he raises a finger to shush her.

"I can do good here," Bruce waves outside at the college campus. "I'm researching again, Nat. I'm teaching. I'm doing what I always wanted to do."

Disappointment flashes across her face and it's telling how far Natasha has changed that she even allows it to show.

"Look," Bruce says quietly, "you need me to look at anything, consult on anything, and I'm happy to do it, but fighting? I'm not that guy anymore."

"You're going to pull a Tony on me now?" Natasha teases him again. "You know he said almost the same thing to me word for word."

Bruce grins at her. "Did you meet his kid? She's a pistol. Takes after her Mom."

"She's adorable," Natasha concedes. She slumps back in the booth. "Damn it. I was really hoping one of you would come back."

She looks tired and Bruce feels a twinge of guilt.

"You'll be fine, Nat," Bruce assures her and wonders if he's assuring himself, "but if the world needs saving, I'll be there."

Natasha scrounges up a smile. "Promise?"

Bruce holds his enormous pinky finger out and she clasps it. "Promise."

o-O-o

Time travel is so far out of his wheelhouse it isn't funny.

Bruce watches as Scott stumbles away to change his pants.

OK, he considers, as he rereads the data. He pushed time through Lang rather than Lang through time. So how does he avoid doing that?

When Tony enters with Steve a few minutes later, Bruce is tempted to kiss him or hug him like Natasha hugs him. What the hell…Bruce hugs him anyway.

The rest of the week flies by.

He and Tony fall into a familiar rhythm of working together. With Tony laying out both the theory and the practical application, Bruce can see exactly what needs to be done. He leaves the engineering mostly to the others, helps Nat design the quantum suits with Scott who is more comfortable working with Bruce than Tony.

He tries to spend time with Thor. It's clear the God of Thunder is struggling, and Bruce wants to be a friend to him. He feels inordinately guilty that he hasn't given Thor a thought in the intervening years, too caught up in his own head. He's been a bad friend. He resolves to do better in the future.

Future.

The theory of time travel makes Bruce's head hurt.

Bruce watches as Clint makes the test run and comes back with hope in his eyes.

They can make this work.

They circle the platform and Natasha smiles over at Bruce before she catches Steve's eye.

"See you in a minute," Natasha says.

Bruce blinks and they're in New York. His astral experience with the Sorcerer Supreme is disconcerting, informative and…Bruce searches for the right word and ends up sticking with disturbing.

On the plus side, he's kind of proven the reintegration of his self has worked; he'd been punched out of his body as Bruce Banner, not Bruce Banner and the Hulk.

On the downside, he has to tell everyone that they have to do this whole time travel thing twice. Once to get the stones, then to put them back.

He takes the Time stone and zips himself back into the future.

He's set it up for them all to get back together at the same time. They flash onto the platform.

Bruce barely hears the others talk about their success, his eyes are on the space where Natasha should be. "Clint, where's Nat?"

Clint's devastation says everything.

No.

Natasha can't be gone.

She can't be.

But she is.

Anger rages through Bruce and, for a second, he's more Hulk than Bruce; he punches the platform.

o-O-o

There's not enough time to grieve.

Arguing about whether the stones can bring her back or not…it's futile. They need to make sure that Natasha's sacrifice is worth it.

Bruce steps up to put the gauntlet on. The stones emit gamma radiation. It's like he was made to do this.

"Everybody comes home," he says. If the stones can bring Natasha back…if they can…he'll make it happen.

Tony's tech reshapes around his large arm and the pain is…

Horrifying.

He feels his arm break.

He waves off the others. Tells them he's OK.

He breathes through the pain. He groans as he supports his broken arm and forces his fingers to make the snap.

_Bring everyone back; bring everyone back; bring Natasha back… _

The thought stampedes through his mind. He holds on as long as he can but…

He passes out for a second and he's on the floor, Tony hosing him down with something which numbs the pain. He wonders out loud if it worked.

The shutters fall away from the skylight and…there's a space ship. There's a space…

The world explodes.

o-O-o

They won.

When the battle is done and the dust settles; they won.

But they've taken heavy losses.

_Everyone_ didn't include those who hadn't been Vanished so Vision is still gone. Bruce doesn't know how he feels about that, what he's supposed to feel. He'd been part of Vision's creation and he'd spent a couple of hours with the android in the run-up to the battle of Wakanda but…he can't say he really knew him. But Wanda grieves for him and maybe, maybe that's enough.

Tony is a different matter.

Bruce can't quite believe Tony is dead. He recalls how Tony had once said to Steve that he thought he'd just cut the wire than make the sacrifice play, and knows his friend would have considered everything before picking up the stones, snapping his fingers. Tony always fought to live another day, he fought to go home at the end, but that never meant that when it came down to it, that Tony wouldn't or couldn't sacrifice himself. Once upon a time, Hulk had caught Tony in the wake of such a sacrifice and saved him. Bruce wishes the same could be true this time.

After Tony's funeral, most of them scatter. Clint goes home; so does Scott and the Pyms. Thor tells Bruce he's going with the Guardians back into space. Carol's already back there.

Bruce stays to help the remaining Avengers, partially out of a sense of duty to clean-up the mess, partially out of respect for Natasha.

He grieves for Natasha the most.

He grieves for what might have been.

He grieves because when all was said and done, he had loved her; loves her.

He misses her.

With his arm broken and healing slowly, Bruce concedes to Steve's decision to take the stones back alone. It's not the most sensible decision if something goes wrong, but there's something in the set of Steve's jaw that convinces Bruce not to argue.

He has a small hope, a secret hope, that Steve might be able to bring Natasha home. A soul for a soul.

But Steve misses his time stamp.

Bruce frantically tries to get him back but then…Bucky notices a man sitting on a bench.

Bruce watches from a distance as Steve and Sam talk; as Steve hands Sam the shield. He stays quiet as Sam and Bucky swap places and Bucky sits beside the old man on the bench.

Sam shows Bruce the shield sheepishly.

Bruce smiles at him. "Looks good on you. I'm sure you're going to be a great Cap."

"What about you?" asks Sam. "You sticking around?"

Bruce looks over to Steve. He thinks of the message Tony left, of how he'd spoken about happy endings. He thinks of missed windows and opportunities.

"No," he says slowly, "I think it's time for me to go home."

o-O-o

It's the same house.

The same street.

He knocks gently with his good hand.

Betty opens the door to him. "Bruce."

"Betty," he reaches for her and she immediately moves to hug him. There is no fear or horror. He hugs her closer with his good arm; all his pent-up grief, all his hope surging up inside of him.

"Are you going to stay this time?" asks Betty, moving back just enough to look at him.

Bruce smiles and nods. "I'm staying."

There's no reason to run any longer.

The End.


End file.
